I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
