just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
