God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize