Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
