I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I cut my penus on the lid.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
