wat bout pragnant strippers??
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
