you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
