and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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