were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Randomize
