I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
