I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
