I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
