I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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