That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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