maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize