You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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