Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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