Already got asked if we're dating
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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