Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
