Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
