I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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