I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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