Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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