when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
ok first of all what the fuck
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize