I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
