My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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