Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
