She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
