I want to walk on stilts...naked
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
