I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
