Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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