We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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