I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Im part way to drunk.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard