A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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