I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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