you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
