Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
