After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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