I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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