There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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