If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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