So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
