I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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