never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
