All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
