Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
