im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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