hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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