i think my tv is drunk
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
