Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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