Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
