YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
