my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
