i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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