i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Success! We fucked roommates!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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