She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
