cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
