Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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