I cannot find my penis.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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