Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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