How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
